A paradox and a half

Lie. You hate it already. You're cringing. We all lie. In several proportions, ranges and colours. Faces lie, words lie. I, however, have this artful gift. A special one. I lie to myself. Everyday. It is an art I've learned to master from someone I deeply love. "You tell yourself you're OK and you will be OK". I could've used a better lie to get over it.  Those Berlin art-parasite posts telling you -- 'you decide if you want to be happy'. The biggest lie. Nobody can decide how they feel and if you're telling me you can command your feelings, well hello, Artificial Intelligence! We lie to get a certificate, job, date, and succeed. Why do we lie? To impress others. Those who lied their way to get to where they are now. We seek approval from those cheats. Every single day. And with that, we cheat fate. We cheat our dreams. We've lied to ourselves to believe that this is how it is. That this is us winning. The S...

What is of love? If not but only a shout out into the void What is tragic? That the seamless heart aspires What is heart? If not for a beat to skip a pulse What is love? If not for thy heart to know, What's mine has always been yours.

For only two words Held her last breath; Fire he said, Ice she sighed. For across fire, Her skin lit up a thousand moons, But with a cold shoulder; He saw another Love doom.

Destiny, he sighed; Coincidence, she shrugged,  Not until a starry night,  As he bares his scars,  To find another broken soul And they both lay fragmented, Inching pieces together, Of a Story lesser known; Of a Connection untold.

Meet me under moonlight?  When the stars blanket The darkest oblivion And the wind breezes poetry Only we could hear

I wrote this about you But you'll never know Because I won't tell you Because it'll always be too soon Too soon to tell you, How you're a habit now How we've been today, yesterday and tomorrow How you've changed and grown distant How I've changed with you How 2ams aren't unbearable anymore I'll tell you about how I've thought of us lying on sand, Side by side, with your hand over mine As the waves kissed our feet Under the bare moonlight. I'd tell you this and more But maybe not like that Because I don't ever want you to get the wrong idea Because if you do, we'll change too fast And I've a hard time letting go And a harder time holding on And that's why you're comfort Because with you, I don't have to decide. I worry about the day that'll take you away All to herself And all I'll have left are these things I wrote about you, Wondering, if you ever read them.

I sit here pitch black, Staring at blankness. My thoughts fading into an oblivion; As I go through that last text Over and over again, Coming to terms with the way You slowly complicate my life.

Oh, the damaged mess that you are,  The last of our harsh exchanges, The bitter texts,  How you keep pushing through everyday, Beyond the loss, the heartbreak and the nothingness, To go to work, Fake a laugh at your coffee date, Act like everything is OK Trying even harder to get along, To fit in, To just be, To exist, Amidst the lost bits of you, The lost bits of me, The lost bits of us.

I wonder about the most selfish things,  Like whom do you text when you are bored,  Does she send you recipes when you are hungry?  Do you argue as passionately anymore? I hope you do. I pray you're still standing up for yourself,  At work, at home. Do you have anyone that you could run to for a hug these days? Do you still day dream about cars and cruises? Does love still feel like a shout out in the void? Is the terrace still lonely at nights? Remember when we gazed at stars from two cities? The moon still looks beautiful from here. But it isn't the same. Nothing is. Anymore.